One Pairing To Rule Them All
by TheWarrior12
Summary: Wicked characters all get together, so they can have a meeting to discuss which pairings in Wicked are the best. Oneshot.


**General Wicked Disclaimer**: I do not own Wicked or any of its characters.

**Pairing Disclaimer**: N/A (All the Wicked character are arguing about different pairings, so there isn't really one pairing, although some pairings are suggested and hinted at more than others.)

**Rating is K+:** For mild language.

**Author's note:** This oneshot is a bit random and it's suppose to be a little chaotic, but it has a lesson. I probably won't have any other new stories for awhile, but enjoy this oneshot, and remember feedback is always welcome.

**One Pairing To Rule Them All**

"Well, I'm glad everyone could pretty much make it today," Elphaba started, as looked around the table where almost all the Wicked characters were sitting. "So let's get started with our discussion."

"Why are we having this meeting again?" Fiyero asked, with a deep sigh, as he twirled his thumbs. His eyes were already getting distracted as his gaze traveled around the room

"Didn't you read the flyer that was sent to you?" Elphaba asked the Prince.

Fiyero just rolled his eyes. "I read some of it, but then I got bored. I'm not one for reading as you know."

"I see," Elphaba grumbled, as she looked around the table. "Can someone tell me why we are here?"

"I can!" Boq exclaimed, as he stood up and cleared his throat. "We're here to talk about the Wicked pairings, and try to pick the best ones, so there can be harmony to fan fiction. Pretty much we're looking for the pairing that rules them all." He then looked at Galinda to see if she was paying attention to him, but she was too busy checking her dress for imperfections.

"That's right," Elphaba replied, as she tipped her hat. "So let's start brainstorming on the best pairings for Wicked."

"What's to brainstorm?" Fiyero asked with yawn. "Fiyeraba and Gliyero, there done, let's go home."

"You just like those pairings because you get the girls," Boq spat at him.

"Your point is...?" Fiyero asked with a smug grin.

Boq just shoved him, as much as a munchkin could and said, "Well I like Gloq."

"No way! You can't handle Galinda!" Fiyero barked, as he puffed out his chest to intimated the munchkin.

"Says you!" Boq snarled.

"Stop fighting you two!" Elphaba growled, as her eyes narrowed at them.

"Oh let them fight," Avaric chuckled, as he rested his feet on the table. "Who knows... it might lead them to realize what they have done, and then they'll kiss and make up."

"A Biyero pairing, how interesting," Doctor Dillamond commented with a grin. "It has my vote." Fiyero and Boq quickly stopped fighting and shifted in their chairs.

"Fiyero can't have Boq because I want him!" Nessarose piped in. "Everyone loves Bessa."

"Oh by Ozma," Boq mumbled under his breath.

"We deserve each other," Nessa added, as she grabbed the munchkin's arm. "Bessa forever!"

"I need to be paired with someone though. It would be a sin for my body to go unloved. I mean look at me!" Fiyero said, as he flexed his muscles a little.

"Not everyone loves you Fiyero." Galinda replied, barely looking up from her dress. The Winkie Prince answered by gasping loudly at this statement and holding his chest in shock. He looked like he was a about to faint at hearing this information.

"Well Elphaba at least HAS to be paired with someone," Fiyero ended up saying once the shock had worn off.

"Oh, I can think of someone Elphaba can be paired with." With those words Galinda stared seductively at the green girl before licking her lips.

"Ooh, the Gelphie pairing! Fiyero like," The Prince replied, with a smile, as his eyes widen in excitement. Galinda took this as her cue to stand up and pull the green girl close. Their lips lingered dangerously close to one another, and just as it looked like their lips were going to meet they were interrupted.

"Hey! I want to know why I'm not paired with anyone!" A raspy voice called out.

"Oh come on, Madam Morrible, couldn't you have waited a few more seconds?" Fiyero spat, with a shake of his head, as he motioned to the position Elphaba and Glinda were just in. "Besides I don't think there's anyone alive that will agree to be paired with you."

"Take that back, or I'll make sure you fail in your classes at Shiz!" Madam Morrible growled, as she shot the Prince a dirty look.

"I take back nothing!" Fiyero shouted, as he placed his hands on the back of his head.

"I guess you won't be passing this semester at Shiz," Madam Morrible answered, as she looked over her nails.

Fiyero shrugged his shoulders. "That's nothing new."

The headmistress just grumbled in disgust. "You truly are brainless."

"I regret nothing! For you see, the trouble with schools is they always try to teach the wrong... " The Prince retorted, in a tone, that suggested that he might break out into song any second, but Elphaba was quick to interrupt him.

"Can we please stay on the topic at hand?" Elphaba asked, as she rubbed her forehead in the attempts to drive away an incoming headache. Galinda wasted no time massaging the green girl's shoulders in the attempt to drive away the pain.

Morrible frowned. "But I want someone to be paired with!"

"How about the Wizard?" Boq suggested.

"No!" Elphaba shouted, as she gave Boq a stern gaze. "She's not getting paired with the Wizard! A million times no on that idea!" With those last words Elphaba slammed her hand on the table a little too hard. "Damn it, my hand!" Galinda immediately took Elphaba's hand, caressed it, and gave it a kiss. Elphaba gave her a quick smile in thanks before addressing the group again.

"Anymore ideas?"

Fiyero then began to tap his foot and in a restless manner. He could tell Galinda was trying to sway Elphaba more over to the Gelphie side. He also didn't like it that Elphaba wasn't paying much attention to him.

"Hmm, maybe I need tighter pants," The Prince thought to himself as he began to hike them up. After tightening his pants the best he could, Fiyero then returned to the matter at hand. "How about Glessa?" He suggested, knowing if the group agreed than Elphaba would be free for the taking.

"I like that pairing too!" Boq chimed in as he pulled his arm away from Nessa's iron grip. Nessarose looked shocked at this answer by the munchkin. She remained silent for a few seconds as she gathered her thoughts.

"I don't know if that will work. Boq might not realize it yet, but I'm sure he would get jealous if he saw me with someone else," Nessarose replied, as she held her chin in thought.

"With the Glessa pairing Galinda can have Nessarose, and I can have Elphaba," Fiyero said, as he ran a hand though his hair before walking over to Elphaba and taking her hand. Fiyero then brushed some raven hair from Elphaba's eyes, in a gentle fashion, before trying to pull the green girl away from Galinda, but the blonde pushed them apart.

Galinda stood in between them and gave Fiyero a hard look. "Oh no you don't. You can't decide the pairings just because you want them. We all have to agree."

"Says who?" Fiyero shot back.

"Guys stop arguing, or I'll punish the two of you," Elphaba warned.

"Will you spank us for our punishment?" Fiyero asked the green girl before ending with a playful growl. Galinda just answered by sticking her tongue out at the Prince. Fiyero crossed his arms over his chest at this. "Fine, how about you and me hook up? We'll give everyone some nice Gliyero."

"Settle down you two. I'm confused enough as it is with all these pairing names," Avaric said, gave his arms a quick stretch.

Fiyero answered by throwing his hands into the air in frustration as he mumbled, "Gelphie, and Fiyeraba, and Gliyero! Oh, my!"

"At this rate we're never going to pick the pairing that rules them all," Nessa said, as she let out a loud sigh. She then started to move herself around in a circle to try to drive away her own boredom.

"Yes, let's all settle down," Elphaba agreed, as she placed a hand gently on Galinda's shoulder, and the blonde girl nearly melted on the spot. She was quick to lean into the green girl's body as close as she could.

"Elphaba make Galinda stop!" Fiyero whined, as he stomped his foot like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Make her stop what?" Elphaba asked, not understanding what was going on. This whole meeting was getting more chaotic by the second.

"She's all over you!" The Prince complained with a huff as he pulled his pants up more.

"Aw, the Prince is jealous because he's not getting any affection." Avaric teased before leaning in close and giving Fiyero a quick peck on the lips.

"There how was that?" Avaric asked, as he placed his hands on the Prince's chest.

"Um, well...I-I um..." Fiyero babbled, it was clear he wasn't sure what to say.

Avaric's grin grew wider when he saw Fiyero's face begin to blush deeply. He in turn ran his hands up before resting them on the Prince's shoulders. "I love it when someone has strong shoulders."

"Tell me about it," Galinda whispered, as she ran her own hands up on to Elphaba's shoulders and gave them a squeeze.

"Ooh, looks like we got some Fiyaric action going on here," Boq noted. He had to admit he enjoyed to see the Prince lost for words.

"And some Gelphie," Doctor Dillamond added when he noticed Galinda couldn't take her eyes off the green girl.

"I hate to break this love-fest, but we're are still not making much progress," Elphaba said, as she plopped down in her chair.

"Elphie, I'm sleepy," Galinda announced randomly, before taking a seat in Elphaba's lap and cuddling into her chest. Elphaba made no protest and continued on with the meeting. The green girl then started to rock slowly, and Galinda in turn let out a blissful sigh.

"Did we suggest Elphaboq yet?" Avaric asked, in a tone that showed he was growing weary of this meeting. "What do we think about that pairing? Come on, people, I would like to finish this meeting sometime today." His gaze then dropped and Avaric noticed Fiyero's pants. "Fiyero, is it just me or did your pants get...tighter?"

Fiyero just gave a quick nod and answered, "At least someone noticed."

"I still think I should have a pairing," Madam Morrible muttered, as she tapped her bony fingers against the table. Her hands were so frail that they looked like they would break any second now.

"Not this topic again," Boq mumbled, as he held his head.

Nessarose's eyes lit up with an idea. "How about we pair Madam Morrible with the Lion? If we're luck he'll eat her!"

Elphaba shook head in disapproval of her sister's words. "That wouldn't work. The Cowardly Lion is such a scaredy-cat that he would be terrified of Morrible's appearance. He then would run away screaming in a wild fashion."

"Elphie's right. The poor Lion is already frightened of so many things. Let's not give him one more thing to have nightmares about," Galinda added, her face still burned against the green girl's chest.

"I'm sitting right here you know!" Morrible shouted in anger.

"I say we shut up this old crone, once and for all, by picking straws to see who she gets paired with her for a one time only date," Avaic suggested after flinching at the suddenly outburst of rage by the headmistress.

The look on Doctor Dillamond's face clearly showed he was not keen on the idea just proposed. "I don't think that's a wise idea. I think that's a really baaad idea. Excuse me, a bad idea." The Goat then swallowed hard from nerves.

"I'll go with that," Morrible admitted, her anger quickly vanishing. "One time is enough for me, and I promise not to speak of it again. You have my word...I swear on the Grimmerie."

"Fine, if it will shut you up," Elphaba answered, as gently moved Galinda to a standing position which earned her a pout from the blonde. She was clearly not ready to get up quite yet.

Elphaba then started to gather some straws that were sticking out from the cushion of her chair. Everyone looked nervous as the straws were being collected. It was clear no one wanted to be paired with Madam Morrible even if it was only going to be one date.

"Okay here how this is going to work. Who ever gets the short straw goes out with Morrible for one date and one date only. Understand?" Elphaba asked as she held up the straws.

It took a few seconds but everyone nodded their heads, and Elphaba started going around the table with the straws.

Doctor Dillamond and Nessa picked first then Boq. They all smiled when they saw their straw was regular size. Elphaba and Galinda then picked their straws.

Galinda was so relieved when she saw that she didn't get the short straw that she fell into Elphaba's arms like she was fainting, but she didn't lose consciousness.

Elphaba held Galinda close and tried set her back on her feet. When the blonde didn't Elphaba scooped Galinda up into her arms. The blonde's face quickly turned a light pink color, and a shy grin formed upon her lips.

Fiyero let out a huff and pretended to faint too in the effort to draw Elphaba over to him. Instead Nessarose saw him start to fall first, and raced her wheelchair over to him. Fiyero in turn fell onto her lap with a thud.

The Prince wrapped his arms around Nessa's neck, so he wouldn't fall to the floor. Nessa's eyes were sparkling as his face started to flush. Nessarose then cupped the Prince's face and kissed him for a few seconds.

"Looks like we have some Fiyssa on our hands," Avaric laughed. His laughter quickly died when he noticed he had picked the short straw.

"Damn it," He whispered, as he gulped nervously. "I want a redo."

"No redo," Boq replied, with a shake of his head. The rest of the group was quick to agree. There was no way there they were repeating this.

"Besides this straw picking was your idea," Doctor Dillamond noted, as he began to eat his straw.

"Please no! Anyone but Morrible," Avaric was pleading now and looking quite frightened. "Come on, anyone want to trade! I'll make it up to them! I'll be there slave for a week! No a month...a year!" But no one said anything. It was clear no amount of favors were tempting enough to take Avaric's place.

"Oh Avaric, it's only one date. Let's go." It was clear Morrible wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"No! I don't want to!" Avaric shouted, but Madam Morrible grabbed him around the collar and began dragging him away. The shouting from Avaric only stopped when they exited out the door and could be heard going down the hall.

"So much for suggesting Elpharic," Nessarose mumbled, as Fiyero stood to his feet.

"Poor Avaric," Fiyero replied, with a shake of his head. "But better him than me. Anyway this gives no good deed goes unpunished a whole new meaning."

"Well on that note I think we should end this meeting. I think we learned an important lesson here today," Elphaba said, her voice carried a different tone to it. Almost like she remembered something of grand importance or a new idea had struck her.

"Yes, never agree to anything that might have you go on a date with Madam Morrible," Fiyero answered, as he looked down at his still hiked up pants in approval.

Elphaba nodded her head. "Well that too, but the real lesson is there is no one true pairing. It's up to the Wicked fan fiction authors to pick which pairing or pairings rule them all. It's not about pairing hate. It about pairing acceptance."

"Wise words," Doctor Dillamond said, as he banged his hoof against the table.

"You're right, Elphaba, it does just come down to pairing tolerance and understanding," Boq agreed. "I guess this meeting wasn't a waste after all. We learned that the authors should be respectful of other pairings."

"No it wasn't a waste," Fiyero agreed, his eyes never leaving his pants.

"Then you're all free to go until some Wicked author writes you in their stories," Elphaba said, as she waved the group off.

The crowd of Wicked characters soon left the room. Nessarose was hot on Boq's tail as they exited. Fiyero was next to leave, but not before strutting out of the door and giving Elphaba a wink. Doctor Dillamond followed holding the remaining straws that he collected for a snack later on.

"That meeting worn me out. I'm ready for some nice relaxing time," Elphaba muttered, as she headed for the door, but waited for Glinda to join her before closing it behind them. The blonde wasted no time linking her arm in the Elphaba's own

"Then let's go back to our dorm room, and we can have some_ relaxing time _together. Just you and me." Glinda ended her sentence with a purr and Elphaba couldn't help but grin as they disappeared down the hall.

The End


End file.
